Give Yourself Some Love
deep peace of the dark buck moon to you
Support for Every Season
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July 14, 2026
Use your energy mindfully
July’s moon is often called the buck moon, named for the season when deer develop their antlers for the year. In the spring, prompted by longer sunlight hours, bucks start growing their antlers. The more testosterone in their system, the larger and more complex their set of antlers grow to. This signals to potential mates, “I’m big and strong and therefore my sperm is superior.” And they’re also going to use their antlers to wrestle other males, so it serves for them to just be actually physically strong.
This annual growth takes an incredible amount of energy. From spring into summer they grow from nothing to full size, in some species at a rate of three centimeters a day. One video I watched said this is like if we grew a whole arm every summer. Because they are so expensive energetically, they fall off in winter, at the end of mating season. The antlers have served their purpose and to continue to feed them would be a huge misuse of energy, so they just fall off.
I was vaguely aware of this fact, that antlers are shed each year. But there’s a totally gross other part of the process I want to share with you. New growth is covered in velvet, which is a layer of soft, fuzzy skin that supplies the bone structure with blood vessels and protects new growth. Once the antlers are grown, they’re strong enough to just be bare bone until the end of the season. So at that point, the outer layer of velvet is shed. If you want to know what’s gross about the velvet shedding, you can Google pictures of that. But I’ll just let you know, it’s skin that contains blood vessels hanging off the antlers.
Tonight, the moon is dark. We pause in this moment when the Strawberry Moon has set, and before the Buck Moon rises. And to make way for whatever growth wants to come forth in us, tonight we’ll practice releasing what we want to direct our energy away from. Just like the buck shedding their summer velvet or dropping their antlers at the end of the season, we gotta let that shit go, even if we have to bleed for it. To make room for our glorious new set of antlers.
Gift Yourself Forgiveness
One way that we can stop giving our energy to something is to practice some forgiveness. Unfortunately, this is a concept that has been abused in certain parts of our culture. Under white supremacist, patriarchal, ableist, heterosexist culture, often people who are more vulnerable are asked to offer forgiveness to people with more power who have caused significant harm.
Do any of these phrases sound familiar?
Don’t let it get to you.
That’s just how they are. They’re a jerk to everyone. They’re from a different generation.
Be the bigger person.
Take the high road.
Often the onus is put on the more vulnerable person to end a conflict for the sake of easing others’ discomfort. In that case, we have to ask, who is meant to benefit from the forgiveness? Is it to ease tension and anxiety for others? To allow a group to return to a particular status quo?
Ideally, conflict is held in the context of community. Community members should pay attention to how power is distributed among the conflicted parties, understand the context of the conflict, and ask anyone who has caused harm to take accountability for their behaviors and offer reparations as appropriate to the situation and access to resources.
But whether you have that support or not, when you’ve been wronged, it’s your decision alone whether you want to forgive someone.
That being said, I’d like to offer you a different take on forgiveness—one you may have heard before, but which bears repeating. Think about forgiveness as something you gift to yourself, not the person or people who wronged you. It’s a way of releasing energy that we don’t want to hold anymore. It’s like saying, “I’m no longer going to pour my energy into the hatred, resentment, fear, or rage that I hold toward you. I’m going to take off my own handcuffs now.”
To paraphrase Pema Chodron, I’m not going to keep eating poison, hoping that you’ll die.
Write about it
You can journal your way through the following prompts, you can doodle, or you can just sit or lay back and let your mind wander. Whatever feels best to you is perfect.
There may be some unpleasant or even painful memories that surface through your reflections. I encourage you to only dip into it as far as feels safe to you. If you need to take a step back from reflecting too deeply, you may want to walk around the room or take a drink of water or tea. You could find an interesting texture to touch, or clench and unclench your fists.
Imagine that you’re walking on a path, enjoying a view of trees, mountains, or water. As you go along, you notice yourself slowing down. You reach back and realize it’s your backpack, weighing heavily.
Find a nice spot to sit. Maybe it has a beautiful view, or it’s tucked into a nice stone wall where your back feels protected. Whenever you’re ready, reach into your backpack and see what there is to see. Pull things out one by one, or dump it all out on the ground and sift through it.
Whatever’s in there that’s supportive and you want to keep, go ahead and put it back in your pack. But if there’s something that’s been weighing you down, consider if it’s something you’d like to let go of, fully or partially. This could be something like: grudges, resentment, break-ups with friends or lovers, disappointments, former jobs or colleagues, conflicts that are lingering in your mind.
Choose one to work with for now. If you have time, you may decide to do more than one, but there’s no rush at all. With this one weighty issue in mind:
What is lingering for you?
Consider any self-talk that runs through your head when you think about this issue. Tightness or other sensations in your body. Emotions that arise.
List some things that are true.
It hurts. It’s unfair. I still miss them. I didn’t deserve that.
List a few more things that are true.
I deserve to move on. I don’t want to keep playing this on repeat in my head. I’ll never get to have the last word.
What emotions does this situation bring up for you?
Can you delve a bit deeper? For example, if you peel back anger, is there grief there? Betrayal? Guilt?
Affirm whatever emotions you’re feeling. Your emotions are valid.
See if there’s a mantra you want to craft to carry in your backpack. This is something that you can come back to when you start to ruminate.
I deserve to be heard.
I cannot expect [person, institution] to give me what I want.
This really sucks.
Not today!
Is there any practical support you want to or need?
Taking this journal entry to therapy. Asking a friend to help you clear out clutter relating to this situation. Writing a letter and (carefully!) burning it.
Finally, is there anything life-giving and nourishing you want to add to your backpack?
A new hobby, practice, activity, or relationship where you want to focus your time and attention on in this season?
Shake it out
Check in with your body and see if it wants to move in any particular way. Stretch, dance, punch the air, roll on the ground. Find a kind way to release any built-up energy.
Get crafty
Finally, get out some pencils, crayons, pens, or paints and draw a self-portrait of your heart. Be as literal or as abstract as you’d like. Make sure to add elements that remind you and show off to others just how beautiful and capable your heart is. It can hold a lot. It has sustained your life each and every day and it will continue to do so (with or without medical intervention, etc.).
Don’t forget to share it with a loved one who already knows how delightful your heart is.
Join me
Tuesday, July 14, 2026, in Edmonds, Washington. Together, we’ll do the guided journaling practice above, shake it out, and draw our hearts. I hope to see you there!
Photo by Philipp Pilz on Unsplash.